Thursday, September 4, 2014

Sympathy for the Devil

9/8/14

Things have been complicated, lately. 

In order to prepare for the arrival of a new group of volunteers, PC put out the call for applications for people to be “Resource Volunteers.”  These people will teach different sections of the Pre-Service Training curriculum to the PCTs.  I did not want to do this, as it would mean at least two extra weeks away from site and I wasn’t particularly interested in many of the subjects.  In addition, the person in charge that I had talked with about my GAD (Gender and Development) committee assured me that GAD would be instrumental in the Gender trainings of PST, thus, I would get to teach something that I liked, get to meet the new group, but without having to do through the rigomroll of being a Resource Volunteer. Or so I though.

Several weeks ago, I called the PC staff member in charge of training to discuss the GAD committee’s place in PST.  He claimed to know nothing about it and said that the only way that I could teach during PST was as a Resource Volunteer.  I felt completely betrayed.  After all the trouble that PC had put me through with GAD-little money, no recognition for weeks (because some staff members had some “reservations” about some of our members-such obvious favoritism among the staff that it makes me sick), NOW we don’t even get to perform one of our main functions?  So, with no other option, I, at the last minute, applied to be a Resource Volunteer.  I thought that, since I was obviously the most qualified candidate to teach PCTs about Gender and Development (it was the subject of my Master’s Thesis, after all…), I would at least get to discuss gender as a Resource Volunteer. 

But, ohhhhh, how I underestimated the ridiculous, embarrassing unprofessionalism and favoritism of PC Nepal.  Because I’m on some sort of shit list (bad attitude, the wrong friends), I was denied even this position. Five of us (all extremely well qualified), three of whom are well known members of the “shit list squad” were denied places, out of 24 applicants-could it be more obvious?!  PC tried to say that they picked the most qualified candidates, that it was all about availability, blah blah blah-but we know the real reason, and any lingering trust in the professionalism and justness of the PC Nepal staff is gone.  As if it’s not hard enough here, so many of us feel completely on our own, knowing that PC staff can’t be trusted to support us, help us or even believe us. 

The week after the Resource Volunteer bombshell dropped was rough.  I felt betrayed, angry, frustrated and finally resigned.  I will do what I came to Nepal to do, I will support my friends, and I will make the GAD committee as great as I possibly can, but I won’t play any more of PC Nepal’s games. I won’t. 

To make matters worse, I was planning on going on a mini in-country vacation to Pokhara, at the end of that terrible week.  This, of course, was too good to be true.  PC decided to re-schedule an emergency evacuation drill, meaning that I got to sit at site and brood and sweat for another week.  Last Friday we finally had the drill.  Every volunteer in Dang had to make our way to our warden’s house.  Three of us got there within two hours of the call.  Our fourth within three hours.  The last member, fuming and spewing negativity, as always, reached our warden’s house after nearly 5 hours, a package from the post office in tow.  Ridiculous.  We spent the rest of the afternoon going through our emergency supplies, discussing evacuation procedures, etc.  That evening we drank and laughed in our hotel room. A PC staff member of course, yelled us at the next day.  This is getting really old.  First of all, Nepali hotels are always empty, we knew that we weren’t disturbing anyone.  Second, any PC staff member that gets mad at volunteers for blowing off steam clearly hasn’t spent a single day at a real site; clearly doesn’t know what it’s like to be cooped up, to feel like you’re going mad. 

Saturday began my vacation, finally.  Day one: Tulsipur to Butwal in the PC vehicle, a nice break from the horrible Nepali buses, and a luxurious, expensive night in one of the nicest hotels in Nepal-hot shower, room service, HBO. Day two: Butwal to Pokhara-economics podcasts the whole way.  Evening of Day two to Day Five: lots of good “American” food, Internet at an expensive café, flirting with Spanish soldiers, catching up with friends, sleeping late.  It was a nice trip, although tainted rather melancholy by the emotional difficulties of one of the friends that I was visiting. 

Day five saw me on a bus towards the south, towards “home.”  In the second hour on the bus, through some bizarre accident, the seat in front of me cut a huge chunk out of the top of my right pinky toe.  It was horrible-searing pain, blood everywhere, trying not to think about how dirty everything on these buses are.  To make matters worse, the only thing that the asshole that had moved the seat and cut me could say was “why was your foot there?” (as if there is so much leg room that my foot could be anywhere else?!) and, only one single person on the bus tried to help me.  I McGuivered myself a bandage with a napkin from my purse and a piece of yarn and sat, furiously trembling, for the next 5 ½ hours on the bus.

 The next day, I just barely made it to Tulsipur in time for the bus to my site, when I discovered that it hadn’t come in from the village, at all, because the road was flooded-just me luck!  Thankfully, a very kind man from the village next to mine was arranging a taxi all the way to the village, and got me a seat in the front of it (meaning that there were only three of us on the bench seat, not 5, like in the back).  No matter how wonderful the vacation, the trip back to site is so agonizing, that I’m always very relieved to see my tan house with the water buffalo out front, to hear Danny whining to get to me. 

Yesterday, I went to Ben’s site in Shreeghaun and we did a trial run of my proposed hand-washing trainings.  He taught two classes about the Why, When and How’s of hand washing and I taught them how to build a hand-washing station, like the one that we built in Pipal Danda.  Ben’s part went well, although there was very little participation, but mine went embarrassingly badly.  First, it was close to impossible to teach and facilitate the building with nearly 100 kids gathered round-so many children made me panicky.  Secondly, I had forgotten a last minute, very necessary modification that we’d made to the design, in Pipal Danda.  So, the first attempt at construction was a failure.  I had to call my fellow Pipal Dandian to remind me what we had changed.  At that point, I just finished building it myself, and it turned out well, I think (or as well as can be expected from someone who has no construction skills.  I can barley even build a pillow fort!).  The kids very enthusiastically tried it out.  I hope that it holds up and that it increases the number of kids washing their hands with soap-any reduction in the amount of diarrheal diseases in Nepal would be an improvement.

Today is a rainy, lazy day.  Tomorrow is a holiday, so I’ll probably be lazy then, too.  I have four days this week to make some headway on my hand-washing project for my area.  On Friday I have to leave again for Kathmandu.  I managed to finagle to have our first official GAD meeting in Kathmandu, at the same time the other “permanent” committees are meeting.  I’ll be there from Saturday night to Tuesday morning.  My return will mark a period of prolonged site dwelling and, hopefully, lots of work progress.  The next break in site is Thanksgiving. 


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