5/4/14
Things were on a roll, for a while, but seem to have
stalled, lately.
It is very difficult to have no one to help me on projects,
and the ever-increasing heat leaves me feeling un-motivated for most of the
hours in a day.
Before our next PC deadline-our Project Design and
Management conference at the end of May-I am going to accomplish the following:
-Finish a second draft of my VSA, as well as a PowerPoint
presentation of it.
-Build and improved cook stove with/for my family.
-Work with the rest of the Dang-ers to finish our IPM
curriculum.
I am hoping that if I can work on these three things, every
day, I won’t feel so bored. So that’s
“work.”
Family stuff has been difficult, lately. I had my first moment of wanting to go home, last
week. I got back from being away for the
day and found out that Danny had killed three of my family’s chicks. While this was bad, it’s also irritating,
because we do not use the chickens for meat or eggs, so I’m not completely
clear on why we have them. Regardless, it’s
a really bad habit for a dog to get in.
My family did not seem particularly upset, and would not take money to
reimburse them, so I figured that was that.
However, the next morning, after letting Danny out, I hear Danny
screaming and crying like I’d never heard before. I ran downstairs and saw my Buba kicking
Danny in the head and trying to prevent him from getting up the stairs, to
me. My Buba told me that he’d caught
Danny going after another chicken. I was
very upset and had to grab Danny away from Buba, while screaming that Danny was
my dog and would not be treated that way.
I ran up to my room, hysterical, holding a shaking
Danny. I called my parents to see what
they thought that I should do. We agreed
that from now on, I will have to keep Danny tied up. This makes me sad, although he’s gotten
pretty used to it. He gets tangled, a
lot, so I have to listen for his cries to un-tangle him.
The hardest part about the whole situation, is they way that
it subtly changed the family dynamics.
My family is far less affectionate with Danny, and for days afterwards,
I felt like the whole village hated me and were talking about what had
happened. Also, my Buba called Peace
Corps to complain about Danny, saying that he was “out of control.” This is completely ridiculous. He’s a puppy.
He’s a puppy that I’m trying to train, with no support from them. They complain that he’s “out of control,” but
then do nothing to help me train him-it’s very frustrating. It’s not the perfect example of Peace Corps
integration, but, honestly, I care more about Danny than I do about them and,
if I had to choose between them, I’d choose Danny, every time.
Things are a bit better, now. My Buba took Danny to get his rabies
vaccination, and bought him a leash in town, but I don’t think I can ever
forget what happened. I always admired
how gentle he was, but now that incident will always be in the back of my mind.
Other things going on:
We are continuing to work on our IPM curriculum, although it’s
slow going. In addition, this week, Ben
and I went to Ghorahai to meet with some NGOs and Government officials. We visited five offices in an afternoon-it
was exhausting. Of most importance was
our visit to WOREC-a women’s empowerment anti-domestic violence
organization. I am hoping to work with
them, although they did not give us any specifics about help that we could give
them. It was nice just to be spoken to. In this country, when you are with a man, he
is always the one that is spoken and listened to. I just have to sit there, and try to tune out
my feminist rage. WOREC, of course, was
different-refreshing.
The week after next, I may be going to Kathmandu for a week
or so, to have my teeth (finally) taken care of. The PC doctor is still claiming that I don’t
need my wisdom teeth out, but everyone else disagrees with him-especially
ACTUAL dentists. My friend also needs
dental work done, and there will be other volunteers in town for meetings, so
hopefully we’ll be able to hang out. In
addition, Elizabeth and I are hoping to be able to apply for our Indian visas,
while in KTM.
Final thoughts:
I think I’ll have hearing damage from the buses in this
country. The music is always soooo
loud-why? I can’t wait to get back to
the serenity of American public transportation.
I went to a religious festival yesterday. It was super boring-we just watched some
women dance. The only people that spoke
to me were a huge group of people who came up to me to harass me for money to
build a new temple. I was furious!! They
would not leave me alone, and my Ama just sat there. I tried to explain that I don’t have any
money of my own, and that I can’t give PC’s money to their temple fund (which,
actually, I probably could), but they just wouldn’t leave. Finally, my Buba stepped in, after about 10
minutes. So much for being welcomed into
the community! The other PCVs and I have
been talking about this, recently. PC
tells us to integrate, to do whatever it takes, but the bottom line is, we’ll
always be outsiders. At this point, all
of us have given up, to a certain extent.
We’re no longer as worried about dressing appropriately at all times,
about not sharing food when we’re in public, about not touching when we’re in
public. If we’re going to stand out, we
mind as well be comfortable when we do it.
Xoxox,
Zoop
1/5/14
Happy Beltane/May Day
Today is a day for new beginnings-whether it be flowers just
sprouting back home, or new resolutions here, in my hot little room in
Nepal. With that in mind, I have
resolved to be more positive (I think that we all know that I can dive into
negative mind-space, sometimes), and also be more proactive in starting
projects in my community. The hardest
part about this job is motivating myself to go out and talk to people I don’t
know, in a language that I don’t know very well, about things that, frankly, I
don’t know a lot about-just thinking about it gives me the willies. BUT, it is important for me to do, especially
since I don’t really have a counterpart to work with. In the next few months, as the weather
descends into heat and rain, I will be working on fundraising and
infrastructure building to support a village library project, and the purchase
of an ambulance. In addition, I will be
working on hand-washing stations with Ben, and hopefully be forming a WID/GAD
Committee.
Speaking of the later, WID/GAD (Women in Development/Gender
and Development) is a committee that many PC countries have, but is lacking in
Nepal. As such, I have, in speaking to
top PC Nepal staff, decided to spear-head the effort to start one here. This committee will be responsible for developing
and implementing gender trainings for PCTs, PVCs and PC staff, develop curriculum
and project outlines for gender sensitive programs for PCVs to implement at
their site and will be the liaison between the Nepali Government’s
women-centered programs, Nepal-based women’s rights groups, and PC Nepal. I am very excited about this! Unfortunately, my excitement about this, and
my lack of excitement about many of the projects that I have to do at site
underlines one of the issues that have been on my mind, in the last few
weeks. I just don’t think I’m a very
good field person. I so much more enjoy
(and am good at) organizational and management-type work. I would so much rather call PC volunteers,
organize meetings, do research and prepare presentations than go make a
garden. It’s not only that I’m lazy (which
I suspect, sometimes, that I am), but also it’s that I like to play to my
strengths, and organizing has always been strength, while gardening (etc.)
definitely has not!
I went to Kathmandu last week, to have a suspicious mole
looked at, and a dental exam for my wisdom tooth. Kathmandu is always a nice change-the chance
to have “American” food, go to bars, see other non-Nepali people, flirt with
boys, wear normal clothing, dance, shop-all very fun. However, a week in Kathmandu will also make
you broke (if you’re living off of the $200/month) that PC provides us, and may
give you a respiratory infection from the pollution. My mole was removed for testing-the doctor
does not think it’s cancerous, but says that because of Nepal’s high UV index,
it is probably just premature skin aging-oh joy!! The dentist that finally looked at my wisdom
tooth recommended immediate removal and seemed shocked that it hadn’t been
removed months ago, when first recommended (thanks PC doctor, for that!). She said that if I’d waited until the area
really started giving me pain, that would have indicated that not only had the
wisdom tooth moved enough to mess up the entire alignment of my bottom teeth,
but that the cavity on the neighboring tooth (common with impacted wisdom
teeth, as you cannot brush between them) would have been so developed that I
would have had to have a root canal. So,
on June 4th, I fly to Thailand (by myself!) and will be there for at
least a week to have my wisdom tooth removed.
I am nervous for several reasons:
1. I hate the dentist and am dreading having to do this by
myself, especially since; apparently, it will involve an over-night stay in the
hospital.
2. I don’t speak
Thai!
3. I’m not sure how far the money that PC will give me will
do. What if I feel so crummy that I
can’t leave the hotel, and can’t go to the cheap food courts that are all I can
afford?
4. What if I feel fine, and want to explore the city, but
have no one to go with, and no idea what to do?
5. I’m irritated that
I’m 5 hours away from beaches and won’t be able to go.
On the other hand, I’m excited for:
1. A plane ride-I love those!
2. Slushies-Elizabeth says that 7/11s in Bangkok have
them. I didn’t drink them in America,
but I will sure get one there!
3. Maybe getting to go see an American movie!
So, if anyone wants to come meet me in Bangkok, tickets are
about $1,000 round-trip, right now. It
may be a lot of loafing around while I moan in pain, but on the other hand, it
would be loafing around WITH ME.
Other news:
Danny was very, very sick earlier this week. He didn’t eat anything for nearly three days,
and I had to force-feed him water. He
was very thin and very weak. We finally
got an assistant vet to look at him, who took his temperature (in the butt)
with a dirty thermometer, and then, to clean it, just wiped it on Danny’s
hair-I was incensed! He prescribed some
worm medication (but only after I suggested it) and some stupid liver oil. Danny threw up the first tablet, but managed
to keep the second one down for a few hours.
He’s recovered now, but I was very, very worried, maybe to a ridiculous
extent. However, I’m sure that you
dog-lovers would understand. Not only do
I love dogs in normal life, but also here, in Nepal, there are times when I
feel like Danny is all I have. To lose
him would be absolutely devastating. He’s back to his feisty ways, for better
or worse.
I got two packages from my parents-filled to the brim with
practical, lovely, yummy things as well as some gifts for my family (which they
loved).
I was speaking to my family about kamlaris last night. Kamlari is a system of indentured
servitude/slavery in Nepal. It is
technically illegal, but is still going on.
The government reports that there are still 350 kamlari in the country,
although I suspect that that number is low.
Kamlari are young girls from poor families who are sold to rich families
as servants. The work for a standard
period of time (or sometimes for their whole lives), do not go to school, and
are treated very poorly. Many kamlari
are from ethnic minority families, like Tharus, and the practice is very prevalent
in the Terai, where I live. There has
recently been a push by former kamlari and kamlari support organizations to
make real progress in banning the practice and punishing “employers.” So, with this in mind, I was asking my family
if there were any Kamlari in our area.
They said that there weren’t, but two years ago, there were-which is
just shocking. My Buba was telling me
that the house that I was supposed to live in, in our village, had up to 20 kamlari,
as recently as four years ago! In
addition, I discovered that my Hajur Ama (grandmother-my Buba’s mother) was a
kamlari, as a child. She explained to
me, chuckling disconcertingly, that she was a kamlari for three years, then
returned to work in her own home for three years, then was married. I was on
the verge of tears and did not have the heart to ask her how old she was, when
this arrangement was begun. Needless to
say, the kamlari situation is deeply on my mind. I’m not sure how much I can do, concerning
this issue, but it has now been added to the long list of possible projects to
try, in my next 18 ½ months.
Next week, we are going to build my family’s improved cook
stove. Also, my counterpart is finally
returning from Kathmandu, so I hope to meet with him to do some planning for
the coming months. Besides that, I foresee
a lot of the same-reading in my room (it is now in the high 90s or low 100s
every day), waiting for the power to come on, so I can watch a movie, or so a
little bit of work or research.
Coming next post: A
list of all the books that I have read in Nepal. It is over 40. Try and keep up, if you can! Plus, more photos.
XOXO,
Zoop
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